Looking Inside the Black Box.....The Male Mind
By Samantha Spicer
Thursday night Daemen College held a Brother to Brother event titled “Behind Closed Doors” where a panel of guys answered specific questions asked by girls about love, sex and relationships.
Being a female who is often confused by guys, this event intrigued me especially. What I found is guys and girls aren’t so different after all. When asked how they define a woman and man I found there were more similarities than differences. Guys want a woman who is strong, responsible, and mature. Theydon’t want the kind of girl who thinks being stupid is cute. Guys also would prefer a girl who can hold a conversation. To quote Mike, one of the guys on the panel, “If I can sit down with you in a club and have an intelligent conversation- that’s gonna make me even more attracted to you.”
As a girl, I know that those are the very same things I would want in a guy, someone who is strong, confident, responsible and mature. It is also very important for me to be able to hold a conversation with a guy and having something in common with the guy in question usually helps.
This is not to discount the role of physical attraction. The guys did say that physical attraction is important, but it’s not everything; personality matters, too. As far as physical attraction goes, guys much prefer a natural beauty to someone who over-does the makeup to the point where she looks more like she’s auditioning for the circus than she’s going to class.
As far as sex goes, the guys said that even if they have sex with you the first day they meet you, that doesn’t necessarily mean they will think less of you. Someone you start a sexual relationship with the first day you meet could very well turn into a long-term relationship. Whether or not you’ll sleep with them the first night isn’t some kind of test, so if the moment strikes, don’t let this stop you.
Newsflash, ladies! Chivalry isn’t really dead, it’s alive -- just rare. The reason it’s so rare is because guys are just as afraid of being taken advantage of and taken for granted as girls are. Guys fear if they do open up doors, and pull out chairs, pretty soon the girls won’t appreciate this gesture anymore. One thing no one can deny is that we do tend to appreciate things less the longer and more frequently they are done for us. Another reason chivalry is so rare is because gender roles have changed so much that some women are offended by chivalry, taking it as the man thinking they are weak, so sometimes the guy just has to feel out what type of woman he's with.
Overall, the message I got out of this and what I want you ladies to get out of this is that men aren’t as complicated as we make them out to be. At the end of the day people are people, and although there are some differences, they aren’t as complicated as we think they are. Girls need to stop overanalyzing and thinking everything has a hidden meaning. Guys are simple and straightforward creatures, so take things at face value and stop making things complicated- you can save yourself a lot of stress!